Real Suicide Attempt or Manipulation?
Kathryn Asked: Real Suicide Attempt or Manipulation?
I have asked questions about my 18-year-old son, "Paul",attempting suicide twice before and received VERY good answers, and now I have another one.
To recap, we adopted Paul when he was four and he is now a senior in high school.About six weeks ago, hetook about 90 over-the-counter sleeping pills and Ibuprofen tablets at noon on a Sunday, told us immediately what he had done (according to his suicide note, it wasdue to unrequited love), went to the ER and spent two weeks in an adolescent psychiatric facility.At the facilitiy, he was diagnosed with Adult Reactive Attachment Disorder (Avoidant type),blamed us for at least most of his problems, and upon his release, moved our of home to stay with an older couple from his church (we're agnostics), with us paying for his room and board.He said he never wanted to see us again, but has since come over three times to play video games with his dad, and although he is still rude to me, he seemed to have fun.
Today, we received a call from his school counselor, who said that she thinks that Paul has been manipulating EVERYONE because he laughs and jokes with his friends, but then will go to the counseling office because he says he is still feeling suicidal (he is now taking antidepressant meds) to avoid going to class, BUT she said he will not talk about anything substantial (same with his dad and me) and gets very angry when pressed to talk.The counselor said that two of her students in the past committed suicide, and she says that Paul just doesn't seem sincere and, to repeat, she said that she thinks that he is just trying to manipulate everyone to get extra attention, which has apparently worked for him in the past.While talking, we then both learned that Paul had lied about not seeing his dad and me since his release from the facility, After that call,she called again about an hour laterto say thatshe and the assistant principal had met with Paul after she and I had talkedand basically said that he needed to get his act together and finish high school and no more trips to the counselor unless it was in his "off time."She said they were pretty "direct".
So nowI am concerned because in the past, Paul has always reacted in rage when thwarted in his desires.He has had therapy in the past for anger management, and his therapist said he had "borderline" ADHD.I am also especially worried about him making another suicide "attempt" (bogus or not).
So, my husband and I are planning on spending as much time with him this weekend as he will allow (again, he;'s 18, so it's up to him), but to complicate things, we also feel that he may be just manipulating us as well and we don't want to encourage that.
Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.