is their a councilor online or a club I can join that will help me get through this?

Trent Asked: is their a councilor online or a club I can join that will help me get through this?

PLEASE can someone help me?

I have a little social anxiety problem and I feel as if everything I do in public would be frowned apon. Like I can't even get a GF, because I don;t even bother with it because I know that it would be no use, and that it wouldn't get far. Mainly because I HATE to be touched and its REALLY weird for me to touch other people and I just makes me want to go run away and hide in my room. It all just makes me depressed, and I ruined one because she got jelios because guy hugged me (I didn;t want to) and then she got ALL mad at me. The thing is though is that It's just too awkward for me to touch other people

I have social anxiety disorder and I feel as everything I do in public would be stupid or critisised. I have a a few relationships but I have ruined them. One got mad at me because I'v never hugged her then this guy hugged me, (I didn't want it). And then there was other thing And I'v just ruined them all. Pluss I don't trust people esily.

I meeenjust look at most of my life story!

I'm a 15 year old male.

I don't know why but i just have REALLY low self esteem and I can't even bring myself to say hi to people. And I don't want to grow up to be all lonely and everything, it's just anything that happens out in public is awkward to me. I meen I'v NEVER even held any of my girlfriends hands out in public because it feels so awkward. And its been so long since I have even TALKED comfortably with a girl.

Also here is what has happened to me in my life

I just feel lonely, sad, and don't even care about life. I have had 5 parents soon to be six. I have had 5 siblings soon to be six. With my biological mother she used to make me sick so that SGE could get attention for that. I have been raped before. My mother hates me. I don't believe in god. NOW the daycare that I live at has got me thinking about kids. I can't go to my fathers when I want to. I got grounded from EVERYTHING at my house, except for reading, whatching TV, eating, going to the bathroom, sleeping, and taking showers. Also I'm always thinking about ways I can hurt myself. AND my grades are failing. I could go on but I really don't feel like it.

I don't think I have a child line or anything. Plus I'm basically just trying to hang in until I can go to my fathers. Because my mother HATES me. I think she found out that I wanted to go to my fathers.

I wont be able to go on my own especially when it gets dark because I have extreme paranoid in the dark and it makes me hallucinate that someones there. Like some sort of thing that is going to jump out and kill me from no were. So i don't get any sleep. So I started taking meletonin, and then we ran out, so I told my mom to get some more. And she flipped saying that I had no problem and that it was all in my head. Does she RELIZE that I know this? Plus if its a mental PROBLEM well then there is a problem in my head. Ugh she is just SO dumb.

Also I can't TALK to anyone. NO ONE because they wouldn't trust me after they told my mother. The only one who WOULD believe me is my father's GF but that was only because he told her to try to tal to me because he was worried. I WANTED to tell her everything but I just can't because I don't trust anyone.

trust me i can understand my homework
Thats why i don't bother with it.

then i wait till mid-terms or finals to bring grades up


Also now all i can think of is losing my fat, and replacing it with muscle. But I have like no fat on me, (im 5'6" and 135lb) Is this bad too?

And with the self confidence thing. I was talking to a councilor online. And she said that I had to say "hi" to someone that looked sad and lonely. And I don't even think I can do that!

This is my main problem that I need to get by

Ok well what will usually happen is I will get a girlfriend but I have this BIG problem with people touching me. I don't know what I think its just I gets REALLY uncomfortable for me whenever someone touches me. I just freak out, (I accidentally backhanded my friend when he poked me, and my father's GF when she touched me.) I just don't know what to do anymore . So is there anyway that I can fix this? My last GF got rid of me because she got julius when another guy hugged me because he hasn't see me for a long time. (I didn't want to hug him) Mainly because you have to earn my respect and trust. I tried to organise a few walks home with her but every time she said no.

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